File: religeon - item number: 0

Msg: 1 Subject: Amish Interview Three Amish brothers decided that they were going to leave the farm and seek employment in the big city. So the three put on their best duds, black trowsers, collarless white shirts, suspenders, and, of course, their best, black wide-brimmed hat. Just before leaving the farm, they combed out their beards, hopped into the family buggy, and headed into town. When they arrived at the parking lot of a factory known to be hiring, the eldest brother spoke up sketching out a plan to up their chances of being hired. "There will surely be some sort of test," the brother said, "so I think that I should go in first, take the test, and then pass the answers on to the two of you." The other brothers agreed that this was a good strategy, and so the senior brother headed into the factory in search of the personnel manager. The personnel manager, an old, sarcastic, grumpy codger, was fond of intimidating new applicants in hopes of testing their mettle. When the Amish brother came into his office, his appearance leaving no doubt as to the identity of his faith, the manager scowled and barked out his interrogation. "So, you're an Amish character, eh? I guess that means that you're some sort of pacifist?" "Yes, that's right," said the brother. "Okay," says the manager, "then I have a couple of questions for you before I decide if I want to hire you," he said in a particularly menancing tone. "What would happen if I punched you in the eye?" The brother, true to his upbringing, lowered his eyes and replied, "I'd be half-blind." "Ya wouldn't hit me back?" asked the manager, incredulously. "No," said the Amish, "I don't believe in violence." "All right, but what if I poked you in your other eye?" fired the manager, leaning across his desk. "Then," the Amish said, "I'd be totally blind." Impressed by the applicant's composure, the manager sat back in his chair, and with a rare smile, told the Amisher how impressed he was with his logical answers and his calm disposition. He then told the brother that he could come back Monday and start work. The older brother was delighted as he returned to the buggy and his siblings. "Oh this will be a snap," he confidently told the two brothers, "just two questions, the answers being 'half-blind' and 'totally blind.' With this, the second brother marched into the factory to the employment office. The waiting manager wasted no time in making the younger Amish feel uncomfortable. "Oh brother, another Amisher right off the farm. I guess you're a pacifist, too?" The brother, duly intimidated, but having faith in the advice given to him by his brother, fixed his eyes on the carpet and acknowledged that, yes, he was also a pacifist. "Then let me ask you," fired the crusty old manager as he rose slightly from his chair, "what would happen if I poked ya in the eye?" The second brother looked up at the manager and in a confident voice replied, "I'd be half-blind." "Wouldn't fight back?" "No, I don't believe in that," said the Amish. The manager, pleased that he'd met two solid candidates in one day, relaxed back into his chair and congratulated the younger brother on his answers and tendered a job offer under the terms given to his brother minutes before. The second brother was proud of his performance and wished the final brother well, confirming that there would be but two questions correctly answered with the responses, "half-blind" - "totally blind." The last brother found the personnel manager to be as hostile as did his other brothers, but became concerned when the manager announced that he was going to ask more difficult questions than those asked earlier in the day. "I guess we have another Amisher who doesn't like to fight. Well I'm going to give you a couple of different questions, in case the other applicants have been passing on their answers to you." The manager squinted his eyes as he leaned across the desk and asked, "So what would happen if I cut off one of your EARS?" The youngest brother did not hesitate and looking right back at the frowning manager stated confidently, "I'd be half-blind." "Half-blind?" roared the manager, his lips curling into a sinister grin. "Well, what would happen if I cut off YOUR OTHER EAR?" yelled the manager, fists now pressed on the top of his desk. Calmly, the youngest brother responded, "I'd be totally blind." Incensed, the manager lowered his voice to a growl. An eyebrow raised to a peak as the manager cocked his head back and challenged the young Amish, "How is it possible that you'd be totally blind if I cut off both your EARS?" Said the youngest brother, "Did you forget about my hat?"

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