File: cartoon - item number: 0

Msg: 1 Subject: Bart Simpson Writings Here are several of the things that Bart Simpson has had to write on the chalk board at the beginning of different episodes. Enjoy... * I will not waste chalk * I will not skateboard in the halls * I will not burp in class * I will not instigate revolution * I will not draw naked ladies in class * I did not see Elvis * I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" * Garlic gum is not funny * They are laughing at me, not with me * I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom * I will not encourage others to fly * I will not fake my way through life * Tar is not a plaything * I will not Xerox my butt * I will not trade pants with others * I will not do that thing with my tongue * I will not drive the principal's car * I will not pledge allegiance to Bart * I will not sell school property * I will not cut corners " " " " " " " " " " * I will not get very far with this attitude * I will not make flatulent noises in class * I will not belch the National Anthem * I will not sell land in Florida * I will not grease the monkey bars * I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment * I will not do anything bad ever again * I will not sleep through my education * I am not a dentist * Spit wads are not free speech * Nobody likes sunburn slappers * High explosives and school don't mix * I will not bribe Principal Skinner * I will finish what I sta * Hamsters cannot fly * Underwear should be worn on the inside * The Christmas pageant does not stink * I will not torment the emotionally frail * I will not carve gods * I will not spank others * I will not aim for the head * I will not barf unless I'm sick * I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty * I saw nothing unusual in the teachers' lounge * I will not conduct my own fire drills * Funny noises are not funny * I will not snap bras * I will not fake seizures * This punishment is not boring and meaningless * My name is not Dr. Death * I will not defame New Orleans * I will not prescribe medication * I will not bury the new kid * I will not teach others to fly * I will not bring sheep to class * A burp is not an answer * Teacher is not a leper * I will not eat things for money * I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call * The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee * I will not squeak chalk * Goldfish don't bounce * Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

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